Not quite Superman

Hi my name is Chanel Monique and I’m an introvert. How?, you might ask especially after interacting with me personally. Well I really enjoy meaningful, intriguing, and thought provoking conversation. I am someone who literally gets joy out of learning something new in a conversation, because I’ll go back in my free time and research it, just so I can learn more. I enjoy being amongst genuine, fun/funny, good spirited people. In summary I love conversation with good people. Then like an introvert I have to go back to my personal space and recharge.

During this last year I was able to pinpoint a few things about myself that weren’t particularly “Great”. I observed this “thing” I had about getting to close to people, and learning they are everything opposite of what they portrayed themselves to be. I’m not sure if there is a term for it but I’ve named it “Super Heroism” and here's how I defined it. Super Heroism; When you observe someone’s character up close and they’re not as wonderful as they’ve led you to believe.

Everyone is flawed. Yes! That includes the both of us sis unfortunately, we’re not perfect lol. Do you meet someone for the first time and give them a list of all your mistakes and shortcomings? ‘Cause I sure as heck don’t. I don’t know about you but my list would be lengthy. However, those who fall in the category of “Super Heroism” are ones with some severe character flaws. Flaws like maliciousness, vindictiveness, quidnunc, and ulterior motive driven.

While doing some self reflection I was able to pinpoint the root of why I’m like this. I got so engrossed with removing the layers off this that I begin unlayering my childhood and the very relationship in my life that embodies “Super Heroism”. Once I got down to the bottom and identified the root it gave me the blueprint on how to identify other moments of “Super Heroism”. Finally, I was able to sift through the emotions that I carry when in those situations, and why I become distant because of it.

Moment of Transparency

When unlayering “Super Heroism” it end up being one of my parents, and that hurt me even more.

After you’re done doing all of this unlayering now all of your business and personal issues are on the table staring back at you. Soooooo now what? Well for me that means I had to figure out how to get through it, so “it” no longer controls me or my emotions. First, you gotta forgive yourself and others so that you don’t harbor any ill feelings towards someone who is just being their self . Second, I had to extend grace to myself and that person because NEITHER OF US are prefect. Also, I had to realize people are really being the best them they can be, and it doesn’t matter if they’re best looks different from yours , they’re still the best version of them. Lastly, (which I really should’ve listed first because it’s the most important) but pray for them. I’m learning true forgiveness pushes you to want better for that person, you can’t change anyone but God can. Pray for them and you.

Personal Declaration

No longer will I allow fear and bondage from the past, alter my present day relationships. In 2022, I’m intentionally seeking to build more healthy relationships and continue having great conversation with good people.

Happy New Year!